As much as he wanted to be married and have a family, I don’t know if he was ever cut to be married. Because I don’t think he could ever, ever be faithful to one woman

Priscilla Presley about Elvis Presley

Last night my head started to spin and I started to think about “What is cheating?”. At first it sounds like an easy question, right? The first answer that comes to mind is “don’t have sex outside your relationship”. It’s not that easy.

Indeed, for a majority of people (Especially guys) that’s the answer. I think that’s a fair starting point. Because the underlying idea behind that answer is that you are not faithful to your partner.

But how do two people decide what’s cheating and not cheating? It’s no yes/no answer, and in my experience different people have different opinion of what’s cheating and what’s acceptable in a relationship. For some people, cheating can be as simple to have sex with somebody else. For others, that line can be broader or smaller. It can be that you have an emotional affair or an online relationship with somebody else. Sure, that’s cheating for some. Why would that be considered cheating? Because you’re moving away your attention from your partner to another person. You are in other words not emotionally faithful to your partner. Most people in a relationship fantasize about other persons from time to time e.g. From watching pornography. Some people would not view this as cheating, because you’re not doing “anything”. You are not putting yourself in a position to do it. But doesn’t your partner deserve to be in your mind? Of course, this isn’t as big problem as physical cheating but you’re unconsciously moving your attention from your partner to another person. Heck, it’s something called “Netflix cheating” (Watch an episode ahead of their partner)!

Cheating is a definition question. 99% of the time cheating is not defined early in a releationship. Which can cause problems down the line. Different experience in life shapes people. People with trust issues will have a lower threshold for what’s acceptable in a relationship. People whom had no issue of trust being broken before in their life will have a higher threshold.

Cheating and trust is closely aligned. If person A has X viewpoint of what’s acceptable in relationship and person B violate X viewpoint, then two things happen 1) Trust is broken, 2) Person B cheated on person A. This may sound extreme but the idea behind it is that person A trust person B to live up to his/her standards of cheating. This can only be solved if person A and B come together as early as possible in their relationship and define what cheating is.

At the end of the day, in a relationship – it’s no exact answer to the question. It’s up to you and your partner to define what cheating is.

Spread my thought

Curious about anything? Drop a comment below. :)