3rd.

You said one love, One life

Johnny Cash – “One”

In today’s society we continously hear about break ups, hook ups, cheating etc. And all possible combinations of these events. Does all this happen because the person haven’t met “the one”?

“The one”. Your soulmate. Other half. Dear child has many names. In all boils down to that person who will finally complete you. The thing about the one is that, you’re not just a “good match” nor compatible with him/her – but it’s also the person you were born to meet.

Sounds too good to be true? It’s very reassuring to hear, especially after a break-up. I have some issues with this concept because, for me, as an atheist (Last time I will mention my religion) – it sounds just so crazy?

My first problem with it: it’s insulting to yourself. You’re a complete person – you’re whole. Your life is not a quest to find someone else – you’re already good enough.

My second problem with it: it’s insulting to other people. People say that fate bring you two together, but itsn’t it more coincidence or luck? You bumped into this person at a supermarket or at a coffee shop but if traffic wasn’t such a jam this morning – you wouldn’t meet this person. Is that fate? I beg to disagree. It’s a very self-centered view to believe that the universe pulled magic strings to make you two together for your personal happiness.

My third problem with it, is that, it’s veeeeery dissapointing. I do believe that real love exist and two people are fully capable to love each other. It’s about loving each others imperfections, flaws – and basically accept how the other person are, but one missing piece with “the one” is that: Nobody’s perfect. Maybe you will nod your head here, and say that your partner is perfect. But everybody has done their fair share of mistake thru’ life. I am not saying you’re blind. I am simply saying that you accept that person for who they’re and that is beautiful.

I mentioned above that you weren’t blind, but accepted your partner. That’s all good. But the concept of “the one” is blinding. After a break-up, life is tough. It’s painful. Personally, I struggle with sleep, check snap/skype every other second, and I only listen to sad songs. Sorry for changing topic. Reversing back now. Eventually after this “period” of pain & sadness – you start to see things more clear. What’s blinding with the concept of “the one”, is that you will overlook many opportunities for greater happiness in your life.

I believe that people settle down eventually for another person, but that person doesn’t need to be “the one”. It can simple be that he/she accept you for who you are – but you’re also in similar life stage. You’re compatible in other words. Maybe the concept of “the one” is misunderstood or should change? At the end of the day, it’s all about being compatible to each other.

To answer the question from the start, I will say two things. 1) “The one” doesn’t exist and 2) People eventually settle down for a person that are in similar life stage / compatible with.

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