17th – Pain in relationship

Making you happy’s my desire

Keeping you is my goal

Elvis Presley – “Pledging my love”

This is a scream out of pain. Believe me when I am telling you that I am sorry for every little thing that I’ve done to hurt you and us. I take full responsibilty for all of our mistakes. It’s on my shoulder. It was my fault. That it went like this. You can put the blame on me. It’s mine.

But I swear to God, when I say to you that’s nobody else I rather want to spend my future with than you. You’re the best person that ever walked into my heart and life. Every part of me is eventually a part of you. Of us. Yes, we have spotted red flags in this relationship – but that doesn’t mean that I cannot change, and believe me dear. I have changed. You have spotted it too. We both know it. It’s either you or nobody. I didn’t know love could be so beautiful until you came along. You didn’t just “come along”. You broke the god damn wall. With a large ‘boom’. I thank you for that.

Yes, it’s an distinction between who we date and whom we will settle down for. But believe me. I want to settle down. With you. That’s my end game. My plan. My vision. My future lays with you. How can I be so ballsy to even say that along with all of my mistakes? I know. I am not perfect. I probably never will be either. Even though I know that, I know a couple things. I have changed and I know I just want you. Returning back to my question.

I encourge you and support you. You know that. I am your rock. I am always there if you need me in any way possible. I know everything about you and how you are. I am always here trying to work thru’ our issues – and you know that I won’t go until it’s settled. I care about you as a person. I know the smallest details about you, my dear. I am not afraid to come ‘first’ from our fights to say ‘I am sorry’ and ‘I love you’. If I fail to deliver on a promise, you know that I’ll do my best to make up for it. I have never judged you – ever. I haven’t. In my eyes you’re perfect as you are. I really mean that. I want you as a part of my future.

All of this. This is me, how I am, and how I feel. To you. I am a good man. I am not horrible. Please, be sure about me. I really want you in my future. JED.

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